Abandoned
by Solo-dono
Summary: Xigbar/Demyx He lay in bed....waiting. He didn't know how long he'd been waiting for, but God it felt like he'd been waiting for weeks. Hadn't he said he'd be right back? Just a quick mission? more inside
1. Chapter 1

**Title** Abandoned

**Pairings **XigbarDemyx, Maybe tiny hints at Zexion/Demyx? Maybe?

**Rating** PG13 for language?

**Summary **He lay in bed...waiting. He didn't know how long he'd been waiting for, but God it felt like he'd been waiting for weeks. Hadn't he said he'd be right back? Just a quick mission? If that was so...then why did those quick missions keep getting longer and longer...almost everyday he'd have a mission now...He couldn't remember the last time they'd shared a meal together...or their last kiss. If he didn't have a heart...then why did it feel like it had shattered? Why did his eyes swell with tears each time he turned away...?

**AN **Just a little something I've been wanting to write down for some time...I got my chance today cause...well, I just got my chance. sighs

**Warnings** Unbeated, Unproofread.

_**Abandoned**_

He lay in bed…waiting. How long had be been waiting now? It seemed like weeks…but maybe it had only been a few days…

Demyx sighed deeply as he stare up at his ceiling. Hadn't Xigbar said it would be a quick mission and that'd he be right back?

"Sorry kiddo, but I've got a mission, it'll have to wait till later…don't look at me like that. It'll hardly take me an hour."

The boy rolled onto his side and sighed deeply. Yes, he was sure that's what Xigbar had said…maybe something bad had happened to him. The boy's mind swirled with worry and he soon found he wasn't able to lie there any longer. He rolled out of bed and right into a portal, a portal to Xigbar's room. If the man had returned injured this room would be the first place he would have gone, right?

Demyx looked around the room…to find it empty. This brought about mixed feelings to the sitar playing Nobody. He was happy that Xigbar wasn't laying hurt in his room…but for a moment he'd wished that he had, just so he would know what was going on with the man.

The boy cursed himself for wishing something ill on his lover as he fell onto Xigbar's bed, snuggling deep into the pillows and sheets that reeked of gun powder, sweat, sex and that musk that only Xigbar possessed. Soon the boy had fallen asleep enveloped in that cloud of Xigbar's scent.

"Hey kid, you're on my side of the bed." Demyx slowly opened his eyes to find one golden eye looking down at him.

"Xigbar!" Demyx exclaimed happily as he sat up. "I missed you, what took you so long!?" The boy asked as he moved over onto 'his' side of the bed so Xigbar could lay down. Xigbar didn't look like he'd been on a mission, not really. He hardly looked tired and his clothes still looked as clean as when he'd left. "Did you get lost?" The boy teased.

Xigbar frowned and threw off his coat before laying down in his bed. "I'm tired, It'll have to wait till later." Came his gruff reply.

Demyx cocked his head slightly to the side but nodded anyway. "Okay." The boy lay back down and moved to rest his head on Xigbar's chest as he normally did…only to have Xigbar let out a sort of grunt and push him away.

"I'm sore from the mission, not tonight." Then Xigbar rolled onto his side, his back facing Demyx, and feel asleep.

Demyx felt his chest tighten and suddenly…more alone than he had when he was laying in his room alone. "Good night Xigbar…" He boy whispered.

His only response was a snore.

In the morning Demyx would roll out of bed early and head for the kitchen. If Xigbar's mission had been so tough on him then he deserved a good breakfast! The boy hummed as he started the coffee maker and began to fry Xigbar up a breakfast fit for a king. He knew he wasn't pressed for time, Xigbar never woke before noon unless Demyx bribed him with sex, lots of sex.

The boy would return to Xigbar's room with Xigbar's breakfast, and a few of his clones to help hold plates and the man's coffee. Demyx grinned and set the plate down on the bed, kneeling down before Xigbar he began to coo into the man's ear as he played with the man's hair. It was after noon, the man would wake up with a little help.

Xigbar let out a rumbling snore before his eyelid began to twitch, his good eye opening to peer up at Demyx. The boy grinned brightly and stood, picking up Xigbar's plate. "I made you breakfast! I figured you'd be hungry after your mission." The boy motioned behind him where three of his water clones also stood with plates full of food and a large mug of coffee…Xigbar ate a lot.

Demyx smiled down at Xigbar, waiting for the man to take the plate and dig in…but oddly enough Xigbar stood up and pulled the coat to his uniform back on. "Actually, I thought I'd go hunting in the Pride Lands today. Hope you don't mind, why don't you give the food to Xaldin…or one of those dudes in the basement. They don't look like they eat enough."

Demyx's smile faltered. "Oh…okay…sure." The boy set the plate down and moved to place a kiss of Xigbar's cheek…but turned and walked through the portal to the Pride Lands…

That tightness in his chest…and the way his eyes were stinging…The boy forced them away. "Bye Xiggy…" He whispered to the place where the sharpshooter had been standing moments before.

He picked the plate back off Xigbar's bed and opened a portal to the basement. The boy found Lexeaus sitting at a table reading, Demyx had his clones set two plates in frount of the large Nobody with a large smile. "Hey there Lex, have you seen Zexy?" The boy chirped.

The Nobody pointed to a door that must lead to a lab of some kind…that's what the whole basement was, just a bunch of rooms and labs. "Thanks! Make sure you eat that stuff before it gets cold. It's bad enough when it's warm." He grinned before head to the door.

He raised his hand to knock on the door when a Zexion's voice stopped him. "What do you want, Demyx?" His voice rang clear in the free-spirited Nobody's ear despite Zexion speaking through a door.

"I brought food!" He responded with a soft bounce as he pointed at the plate in his hand, as though Zexion could see him.

"Yes, I can smell tha…oh never mind." Came Zexion's reply before he opened the door and stepped back for Demyx to enter.

Demyx smiled at the other Nobody, handing him a plate and the mug of coffee. "I figured you could use it, after all, you were up all night."

Zexion looked down at the plate, cocking an eyebrow at the other male. "I woke you?" He questioned as looked the food over curiously, as if it could attack him at any moment.

"No, I was up too…you mind if I sit?" Demyx questioned, gesturing to the stood behind him. He received a look from Zexion that said 'what do I care?' and the boy sat down, looking up at Zexion. "It wont eat you. I've gotten better at cooking since…" He trailed off, slouching in his chair as he put his arms behind his head.

He was staring at the ceiling again.

"Why were you awake? You sleep through anything. Especially when you're with Number II." Zexion had taken his first bite of the food, he wasn't looking at Demyx.

The boy shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

Zexion looked up from the plate, studying the other boy. Demyx was obvious to the fact that when he was upset even someone as dull as Axel could see without trying. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing happened." Came Demyx's quick reply, he turned in his chair so his back was facing Zexion.

The normally stoic Nobody sighed and set the plate down. "Demyx, you're easier to read than 'See Spot Run.'"

The boy cast a confused look over his shoulder, his eyes met with Zexion's and he could see that Zexion wasn't going to let this drop. Demyx sighed deeply and looked forward at the blank white wall in frount of him. "He's…bored of me. I know he is."

Zexion rolled his eyes softly, crossing his arms across his chest. "Of course, we're Nobodys Demyx. He's not in love with you, he can't be. Nobodys can't feel, let alone love."

Demyx turned to face Zexion, he looked like he had been struck. "You're lying! That's total shit, I know what I'm feeling! It's not a lie! We all have hearts, I know we do! You're all just not trying hard enough, you'd rather sulk and blame other people!" He yelled, he'd been waiting to say it for so long…wanting to say it every time Xigbar didn't return his 'I love you'…

Zexion let out another sigh. "You're more confusing than 'A Tale of Two Cities.'" He grumbled out before meeting eyes with Demyx. "If you believe that…then why are you here? Why join an Organization that's only goal is to regain our hearts?"

Demyx starred at Zexion like he was speaking some other language. "I thought it was obvious." He whispered as sunk back into his chair. "If I didn't I'd be alone…" The boy was looking at the floor now, that stinging in his eyes had returned.

Zexion was silent for a few moments before he walked over to Demyx, standing before him. "Why don't you go bother Number X or Number VIII." He handed Demyx back the plate of food, half of it had been eaten. "Thank you for the food." Zexion opened a portal out of the basement; he picked Demyx out of the chair and pushing him towards it. "Give up on that theory Demyx…You're only going to get hurt."

Demyx turned back to Zexion, a soft smile on his face as the tears rolled down his face. "How could I get hurt if I can't feel?" He responded before stepping through the portal, leaving Zexion to roll that over in his mind…

How…

* * *

I dunno, anyone think I should keep going with it?

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Demyx stepped out of the portal that Zexion had opened for him and found himself standing in the hallway right in frount of his door. The boy slid to the floor, looking down at the half-eaten plate with a deep, morose sigh. He was content to sit there for the rest of his days…he didn't feel much like moving at all.

Until he heard footsteps at least. The boy quickly picked himself up and all but ran into his room, what if it was Xigbar? No, worse; what if it was someone like Saïx or Xemnas? The footsteps grew closer…then started to fade, the boy pressed his ear against the door, where they gone?

Suddenly the boy was falling into someone's chest…someone that smelt like…smoke?

"Thought that was you I saw flying into their room, water boy." Came a rather haughty voice, Demyx could hear the smirk in his voice. "What's wrong, didn't wanna see me?"

Demyx sighed and pushed away from the other Nobody. "It's not that Axel…I'm just not in the mood to run into someone like Saïx or Vexen…"

Axel laughed, crossing his arms as he looked down at the shorter boy. "Who's ever in the mood for those guys?" The red head blinked down at the plate in Demyx's hands. "That still warm?"

Demyx frowned softly and handed Axel the plate, "Does it matter? You can always heat it up." Then he turned and walked into his room, lying down on his bed and leaving the door open for Axel to enter if he saw fit.

"True." Axel chuckled as he sat down on the edge of the bed, eating the rest of the hand-me-down breakfast. The sent a few side-ways glances to Demyx who had curled up under his sheets and was starring at the wall. "Hey…blondie, what's wrong with you?"

Demyx slowly looked over at Axel and shrugged softly, smiling weakly. "M'just tired. No big deal."

Axel cocked an eyebrow at the boy, setting the, now clean, plate down on the floor as he scooted up to the boy's side. "Bull shit, water nymph. What's got you so down? You're not acting like yourself."

The boy shrugged softly. "Nothing, I told you. I'm just tried. Let up." Demyx rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in his pillow with a soft sigh.

"Demyx…" Axel pressed, running a soothing hand down the other boy's back. "I hate it when you're upset, it gets me down in the dumps too. Tell me what's wrong…you get into a fight with Xigbar are something?"

Demyx didn't respond, but Axel felt the boy tense at the mention of Xigbar's name. Axel frowned softly, "So what happened? He ditch you or something?"

Rather than respond to Axel's question the boy rolled onto his side to gaze up at the emerald eyed Nobody. "When I'm upset? Axel…how can I be upset if I don't have a heart. Isn't that an emotion?"

Axel blinked down at the boy before frowning and rubbing at the back of his neck. "Come on Dem, it's a….I meant it as a figure of speech…"

"Right." Demyx scowled and hid back in his pillow.

"Aw come on Dem. You're not still on that 'I think we've got hearts' shit are you?" Axel sighed deeply. "So what, you love Xigbar or something and he ditched you so now you're all 'heart broken'? Come on Demyx, stop being so ridiculus!" Axel's tone softened slightly. "Even if you think you've got a heart you know Xigbar's the last guy to believe he does. You knew that going into it, he's just in it for the sex."

"Isn't lust an emotion too?" Demyx asked from his pillow.

Axel could tell the boy was really upset…more upset than he'd been before. He must have said something stupid like he normally did…he wasn't really good with people sometimes. "Well…I dunno..." Axel scratched at the side of his cheek. "Look…you know I'm no good with this kinda stuff. Why don't you go talk to Zexion or Luxord or something….they're smart. I'll…just leave before I make it even worse." The red head leaned down, kissing the top of Demyx's head with a soft smile. "Cheer up water sprite."

Then Axel was gone.

Demyx was alone…again.

The boy rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling once more…just like he had a while he waited for Xigbar. How long had it been since Xigbar went to go get 'breakfast?' An hour at least…maybe two…that seemed a little long for just some breakfast, even if Xigbar had to catch it.

Demyx rubbed at his eyes, when had he started crying? After a few deep breaths to calm himself then rolled out of his bed, opening a portal to the person he prayed would listen to him…who wouldn't make him feel like such a moron.

"Luxord?" Demyx called out in a small voice, not trusting it enough to speak much louder than a whisper.

The blonde Nobody looked up from his tea and cards. "'Ello, ducky." The man gave the boy a charming smile. "What brings you here?"

The boy kept his eyes on the floor, shifting softly from one foot to the other. "I…was wondering if you'd….go someplace with me." He breathed out as he fidgeted with his fingers.

Luxord frowned softly and stood up, walking to stand in frount of the boy. "What's wrong, pet?" He whispered, placing a finger under Demyx's chin, gently lifting the boy's head so he could look at the sullen boy's face.

Demyx avoided Luxord's gaze but did not fight as the man lifted his head. "Just…will you come with me? Please?" He whispered, biting down softly on his lower lip. What if Luxord said no? He didn't know what he'd do if Luxord turned him away too…

"Of course. Where ever you want to go." Luxord smiled down at Demyx, giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead before taking a step back. "Now, where are we going, lovely?"

Demyx just smiled softly and took Luxord's hand, leading the man through a portal he opened.

The next thing Luxord knew he was in the water, he blinked and looked around before reaching for his mouth to try and trap in his precious air; this earned him a chuckle from Demyx.

"Don't worry, you can breath. I didn't bring you here to kill you." The boy swam around Luxord, his long orange-pink tail with electric blue patterns trailing behind him.

"T-tail?" Luxord grasped looking Demyx over. The boy was a mermaid…or well, a merman he supposed. The blond looked down to find that he also had a tail, brown with white spots…or was it white with brown spots….?

Demyx chuckled and nodded, "This is Atlantis and we're mermen! This is my favorite world by far!" The boy circled around Luxord with a large grin. "I see you're a Harlequin Sweetlips."

Luxord blinked, "Excuse me?" He frowned, bringing a hand up to touch his lips.

"No" Demyx sang with a giggle. "You're tail, you're part Harlequin Sweetlips! It's a type of fish."

"Oh, of course. I knew that's what you were talking about." Luxord smiled at the boy, a soft blush on his cheeks. "And what are you? Those blue designs on your tail are breathtaking."

The boy blushed softly. "I'm a blue mandarin. They're the kind of fish I wanted to buy for my fish tank back at the castle…"

"You have a fish tank?" Luxord asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Demyx shook his head softly. "Mansex said it was a waste of time and space, said I didn't need them." The boy shrugged softly. "At least he can't take this world away from me." He spun in the water, grinning widely. He'd forgotten all about what had happened to him in that dreadful castle…this world always took away all his stress and troubles.

Luxord smiled as he watched the boy swim around, it was truly mesmerizing…the way the boy moved. "Um…Demyx, my love….I'm afraid It's all I can do right now to just keep floating here…"

Demyx blinked and stopped his swimming to look over at Luxord, who did indeed look like he was having difficulties. The man was using his arms to stay floating, his tail hanging limp. The boy laughed and swam over to Luxord's side, giving the man's tail a soft prod. "You've gotta use your tail. It is there for a reason you know."

The man pouted softly at Demyx. "I'm sorry but I'm not used to having a tail, normally I have legs that I can kick independently."

Demyx shrugged, "Just pretend you only have one then." The boy took Luxord's hands into his own, preventing the man from using them. "Go on, try it."

Luxord frowned softly and wiggled in the water…getting him nowhere. Demyx bit his lower lip softly and brought Luxord's body flush against his, wrapping his arms around the man's neck. "Wrap your arms around my waist and copy my movements. I'm sure you can do that." Demyx grinned.

"Yes, I'm sure I can." Luxord purred as he wrapped his arms around Demyx's waist loosely. It was strange the way the boy's flesh turned into scales…but Luxord had little time to mull this over as the boy began to swim. If you could call it swimming, it felt more like the boy was writhing against him in some sort of sinfully sensual dance. After getting over the initial shock Luxord began to mimic the boy's movements.

"Good, now lean forward and swim. Don't worry about me, I can swim any which-way." Demyx spoke into the man's ear.

The blonde Nobody nodded and leaned forward until he was nearly parallel with the sea floor, still mimicking Demyx's movements. If Luxord had thought the boy's movements before were all to sensual…then the way Demyx moved now must be able to damn a soul to hell. Luxord found himself growing flushed as they swam forward, turning in circles before they became upright again.

"Want to see the surface?" Demyx asked, though they were already making their way up.

Luxord nodded softly before pressing his forehead against Demyx's. "You're beautiful." He whispered, smiling when he saw the blush appear on Demyx's cheeks. "I cannot think of anything I'd rather do than continue to watch you."

Demyx let out a mix between a gasp and a sob before leaning forward to kiss Luxord. The man noticed how much more wet a kiss was when you were under the ocean, salty too.

When the duo surfaced they were still kissing, Demyx letting out soft whimpers before he pulled away. "Y-you're too nice to me…" He breathed out, burring his face in Luxord's neck.

"No such thing." Luxord cooed as he ran his hand down Demyx's back. "Come, lets get back under the water, It's much more beautiful. Far more colours and life. It reminds me of you."

Demyx let out another soft sob and nodded, still swimming against Luxord as he lead them back down a coral reef he often spent time at when he came to this world. The boy sat down next to Luxord, leaning his head on the man's shoulder as he closed his eyes tightly.

"Lovely…you never told me what was the matter…I'd love to listen if you need to get it off your chest." Luxord wrapped his arm around Demyx's waist, pulling the silently sobbing boy closer to him. "Sometimes it helps if you've just got someone who'll listen to you."

Demyx shook his head softly, biting his lower lip. "N-no…no it's okay…I…I don't need to…" He whispered, gaze down on his lap. He was afraid….completely terrified that if he spoke to Luxord…the man would prove to be like every other Nobody and tell him he was being stupid…and that they didn't have hearts…and couldn't feel heartbroken.

Even though he knew it was foolish….Demyx wanted to pretend that Luxord was really how he acted….so sweet and sensitive…that it wasn't just an act he put on to help him cope with not having a heart; as Zexion would say.

"Duckie…" The man whispered, giving Demyx a prod in his ribs. "Talk to me. What are you so scared of?" Luxord spoke in a gentle voice right into the boy's ear, kissing his temple.

Demyx slowly looked up at the British man, right into his deep blue eyes…the man was smiling down gently at him…Demyx swore he was worry in the man's eyes…but maybe he was only seeing it because he wanted to.

"Everything. I'm scared of…everything." Demyx breathed, closing his eyes and hanging his head.

Luxord frowned a little in confusion before he gave a soft chuckle and pulled the boy into his lap. "Nonsense, now. Tell me what's gotten you so upset. You're acting completely out of character right now, you know that; don't you?" He gave the boy a soft peck on the tip of his nose, trying to cheer Demyx up.

The boy smiled weakly, looking up at Luxord through his lashes. "...You're always so nice to me….why?" He was going to dance around the subject…see what kind of answers he got from the man…maybe he didn't have any reason to be afraid.

"Why?" Luxord asked, blinking in surprise. "Well…Mostly because I think you're simply adorable." The man gave Demyx a dashing smile, poking his nose.

The boy flushed a little and leaned forward, hiding his face in Luxord's chest. "…O…o-only because of that? B-because you think I'm..cute?" Demyx muttered into the man's flesh.

"Only because of that? You say it like it's a bad thing." Luxord chuckled, petting the boy's hair. "But no, that's not the only reason, Love. I do it because you're you, and I like that."

Demyx bit his bottom lip…furrowing his brows. "S-so….s-so you might say that you….u-um…h-have….have feelings for me?" He whispered this, holding his breath right after it. This was it. The big moment….Luxord could have many different reactions….the boy didn't even care if Luxord laughed and rejected him…so long as he didn't say…

"Now darling. You know you can't feel. We don't have hearts."

That.

The boy immediately felt his eyes swarm with tears and pushed away from Luxord, turning his back on the man. "O-of course….I…I know that." Demyx gave a weak smile, though his voice was breaking. "I w-was just teasing…u-um…I…I'm feeling hungry so…so I'm gonna…gonna head back and…and find something to eat, okay?" He didn't wait for Luxord's response, he opened a portal back to the castle and swam through it as fast as he could. He was glad he was underwater…there was no way for Luxord to see his tears.

Here he was…alone again in his room, curled up on his bathroom floor as he sobbed into his knees.

He was alone.

Really, truly alone; even though the castle was filled with 12 other Nobodies.

No one else felt the way he did, not even Luxord…Luxord who had acted so…human. Demyx had though that maybe….just maybe he would understand...

Maybe…he didn't have a heart….maybe he was just fooling himself into thinking he had one because he just…couldn't except that fact that he didn't and this pain he was feeling as all the fault of his brain…

But then….why did his chest hurt so much….why would he continue to act when it only caused him all this pain? He wouldn't be so alone if he was like the others…if he believed he didn't have a heart. So why?

Why?

……Why?

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Yes, I had another...day of sad so I did this. If you couldn't tell...I was feeling alone.

If you want another chapter just review and let me know. I'm sure I'll be able to pump something else out. Like...maybe where Xigbar's been or Luxord finding Demyx and talking to him...We'll see.


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